DATELINE:- SUNDAY 11 MARCH 2001

LOCATION:- WAITAKERE RANGES

SUBJECT:- THE DAM TRAM (OR HARVEY STEWART PLUS 5) - FIRST DAY ON THE JOB

CREW:- KEITH, RON, TONY (NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER)

The day started with the late arrival of one of the crew.  He had read in the Herald that daylight saving finished Sunday morning at 3 and that all and sundry should, at the dedicated hour, turn their timepeices back 1 hour.

Being the obedient servant that he is, an alarm was set for 3 and at the appointed hour he wakened from slumber and toured the house turning all the timepieces back 1 hour.Thus assured that his part of the world was once again secure from marauding lions and tigers and other beasts of the night, back to bed it was for peaceful dreams until "Big Ben" struck at 6:30am.

Little did he realize the hoax that the Herald was playing on everyone, for shortly after rising the radio was brought into life and the news reader announced the 8am news after the "pips" had played their monotonous "air".

"Stupid boy" I said to myself, they haven't adjusted the clocks at the radio station, it's only 7am.  What a bunch of wallies they are turning out to be. Then the truth came to light and a few hurried phone calls confirmed that this crew member was going to "miss the train" litterally speaking of course. All was saved when the crew member did show up about 9.20am.  Just in time to not miss Keith's soliloquy.  And, I add quite unreservedly, a good job he did too.

It was agreed by all, Keith that is, that he would take the train through the long tunnel and then relinquish drivership (if there is such a word) to me whilst Tony operated the ding-a-ling thing.

The first brave souls arrived and Keith collected the fares. I then collected the fares, Tony followed suit and we all had take-aways on the way home that night.

Off we set on the first of a series of a most uneventful tour of a dark or unlit tunnel. All missed the creepy-crawley things at the start but managed to express their liking of the glow worms at the west end of the tunnel. Mind you they might not have been so happy if it wasn't for the hard work put in by the crew of ensuring that all glow worms not glowing had their batteries renewed.

Now it was my turn. I think we made it to the "end-of-line" in record time as I have never witnessed so many people holding on as if their life was in danger. White knuckles abounded everywhere. Keith was speechless. This I took as as an excellent indifference to my driving skills.

Tony's turn now. He flew the train back to the long tunnel and the white knuckle brigade was once again quite noticable. Keith took over the reins and we returned to base through the tunnel.

The next two departures were quite standard, much to Keith's delight and Tony and my disappointment.

The last trip of the day was the most interesting though. Four adults accompanied by a goodly number of children joined us. Now, as luck would have it, I have an "immobility card" in my car because of my 92 year old mother. This I took from the car and placed it in the windscreen of Harvey Stewart. While Keith was trying to entertain the troops with another of his soliloquys I took some of the children to see Harvey and made sure that they noticed the card. Giggles ran rife up and down the train as they returned to their respective seats. Tony and I indicated Keith when questioned about the card but the children were not going to be fooled, they all pointed to Tony.

It was my turn to head Harvey into the darkened passageway and they too missed the creepy-crawley things at the start. I donned the pair of ear muffs available in Harvey's cab as the noise was a tad overpowering. Close to the west end of this tube of darkness I lowered the carriage lights and turned off Harvey's head light. Over the noise of Harvey and my wearing of ear muffs, I heard this almighty din coming from the passenger compartment. It seemed that all the children decided that at the same moment to burst into life and point out and try to count all the glow worms. What a commotion. On exiting the tunnel I looked back from my exaulted position as "leader-of-the-pack" to witness the Cheshire-cat like grin on the children's faces, the adults wore white knuckles.

It is interesting to note that Keith has decided to take a 2 day holiday to an unknown destination, he steadfastly won't tell us where, to get over Sunday. I wish them well.

I overheard one of the children saying that more of their ilk will be making the same journey in about a months time.

I respectfully request anticipated sick leave for that day, whenever it is.